Better to Have Loved
by Lost-Hogwarts-Student
Summary: DM/GW "I know you're not what people say you are." "It's just that I- I.." "Just say it."
1. Alone

Disclaimer: I own nothing! This goes for all the chapters I will ever write.

A/N: First ever D/G pairing story- I hope you enjoy it :) This chapter is pretty short, but I promise that the rest will be long- if I get enough feedback, that is.

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Draco Malfoy was completely alone.

Now that the war was over, nobody spoke to him, of him, near him. Nobody tried to fake sweetness or forgiveness; they were done with cringing. Draco Malfoy did not scare them anymore, and now, everyone had taken to giving him what they thought he deserved. Nothing. Slowly and quietly they had torn Draco apart. Now, he was empty; he did not feel, he did not know. He simply was. This he had learned to tolerate. But how long could he go without truly living? That, he did not know.

It was another day in the life, and Draco was on his way to A History of Magic. The walk through the hallway was regular. He ignored, as he always did, the glares and skeptical looks of his once friends. Shuddering, he remembered when he would give people those same stairs, and he found himself thinking about how it would have been different if he had been kinder or better yet, wiser. He glanced up, and saw one pair of eyes he had not seen in a long time. Beautiful hazel eyes stared back at him, not glaring, instead, they were simply looking at him. How odd. He pointedly looked down, making sure to avoid them. He didn't need more confusion in his life. He didn't want to get his hopes up thinking that maybe someone had forgiven him. Maybe someone had forgiven him for being born into the wrong family and trying to make them happy. Maybe.

The class was droning and quiet apart from the occasional giggles coming from Pansy Parkinson and her friends. Draco remembered when she had devoted herself to him. She had told him that she loved him. She had given herself up to him and laid herself out in front of him. But he couldn't do it. He didn't want her that way- he loved her, that was true, but he wasn't all that ready for what she wanted. Of course, neither was she. At that time the war was at its peak and everyone thought they were going to die; that was the only reason Pansy ever said those things. That along with the fact that at the time Draco had also been one of the most powerful young men in Hogwarts. He felt something tug at his heart, and he remembered the pain of the day she had told him she hated him. The day the war ended. Voldemort died and Pansy ran to Draco shouting about all that had happened and how she would never forgive him for what his family had brought upon Hogwarts. She had told him she had only said she loved him because she was scared of him- scared that if she didn't act that way his family would kill her. She would never forgive him, even if he thought he deserved it since the Dark Lord was now dead. 'It's your fault!' she had cried. It was his fault. The words spun around his head like a menacing ghost. They haunted him with hollowed eyes and wide black mouths; a snake slithered out from their depths, and Draco was awoken from his stupor when he ran into a flame. He jumped, but as the flame turned, he saw it was a girl- a Weasley. He hadn't seen her in a long time. He remembered hearing that her brother had died. It was a shame, he thought, for he held distant memories of their jokes and laughter in the Great Hall. Her hazel eyes seemed unwavering, and it was then that Draco realized it had been her who had looked at him without prejudice or revulsion. It was her, maybe, who understood.

But before he could say anything, she was gone.

All afternoon he thought about Ginny Weasley.

All night he thought about why he had been thinking of Ginny Weasley all afternoon.

All the while he got dressed the next morning he thought of how she could have possibly bewitched him so irrevocably with just one stare.

That day he looked for her in the Great Hall. She was there, sitting amongst the Gryffindors, avidly participating in a lively discussion. For the first time in his life, he wished he could go back and sit on that first year stool and beg the hat to put him in Gryffindor. Maybe then his parents would have abandoned him. Maybe then his parents wouldn't have obligated him to be so involved in their dark practices. It was always maybe. But he would never know. What he knew was the present, here and now. Here he was sitting alone in the edge of the Slytherin table and now he may have fallen for a Weasley. It was then when he regretted harassing her brother. It was also then when he saw Ginny reach over and kiss Potter on the lips. A burning sensation slid down his throat. How could he have thought that Ginny was more than indifferent towards him? How could he have thought that a person was kind enough to look at him as normal? How could he have thought that she might've…

That was it- he _hadn't _thought.

That day he gave up hoping. What was the point if he was going to be disillusioned every time?

He turned to look at her again, and she was getting up from the table. Potter was holding her hand and pulling her playfully with him. She giggled; Draco coughed and some people looked at him, wondering if he had finally said something. Ginny was wrapped in Potter's arms now, and he kissed her on her temple before they walked away. Draco stood up- or really his legs stood him up. He seemed to have no control over what he was doing now. His legs moved forward, following Potter and Ginny. This was bad. He knew this was bad. But he didn't try to stop himself. Potter and Ginny had led him to an empty hallway- both still unaware of his presence. Draco covered himself in the shadows. Potter started kissing Ginny and Draco began regretting coming here. He couldn't move, just stare. It was then he did something he hadn't done in a long time. He spoke.

"Hello," he said, his voice sounding strange, as if some foreigner was talking instead of him.

Potter turned briskly around and when he saw who it was his eyes shot daggers, "What are you doing here Malfoy?" he spat.

"I'm walking," he replied; he thought it best not to talk much.

"How about you don't walk where I'm walking if you know what's best for you ferret!"

Draco remained calm as Potter kept on getting angrier. "I didn't know the hallway was reserved."

"You bloody git," said Potter, "The war is over- leave me and my girlfriend alone."

At this, Ginny peeked from behind Potter's shoulders and her eyes bore into Draco's. They held nothing but compassion. Potter grabbed her hand and began taking her away, but she never tore her eyes from Draco's.

Sighing, he stuck his hands in his pockets and walked to the common room.

Why had he even bothered?

Those hazel eyes popped into his mind.

Ah, right. That's why.

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A/N:Review, please! Seriously, that's what keeps me writing! One word, even: Good! Bad! Boo! Woo! Yes! No! Update! Don't! Anything, really :) They make my day.


	2. Friendship?

A/N: I didn't mention this before, but the setting is as if the war had taken place and finished a year earlier. So, as if Malfoy's seventh and last year at Hogwarts (which is when this takes place) was the one after Voldemort was defeated. That might clear up a few things, I think. :)

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It had been a week since the incident and Draco had reassured himself that his feelings had been nothing. Although he had absolutely nothing to back that up. No, there was nothing that would make him one-hundred percent positive that he had not fallen, if only for a short period of time, for the Weasley girl. Nothing, unless you counted his pride and his still somewhat arrogant self. After all, he was still rich. That was one reason to be egotistical.

Shrugging to himself, he made his way out of his dormitory that morning without welcomes.

He made sure to slam the door on his way out.

He was sick of it. Sick of people's grudges against him. What had he done, anyways? Well, except try to kill Harry Potter…but then, what Slytherin hadn't? It was his family, he knew, that had brought this misery and loneliness on him. Although, a small voice reminded him, he himself had a lot to do with it. He had ruined his own life and now he was doing it again. By not talking to anyone, by not trying to apologize. He had to do something.

He couldn't be a walking antisocial vegetable for the rest of his life.

It was then, with a dismissed churn of his stomach, that he decided it was time to make…friends. He wrinkled his nose in disapproval. The closest he had ever gotten to friends had been Crabbe and Goyle- and now with one of them dead the other had gone even more stupid than before. He couldn't possibly do.

He knew someone he had in mind, but didn't dare to say it. For all he knew, even thinking of this person could lead to becoming more of an outcast from his fellow Slytherins. Plus, who knew if she would try to befriend him back?

Oh. Well. That had given it away.

It was, in fact, Ginny Weasley who had first come up when he had thought of the "friendship" necessity. This he did not know why and it angered him to a point that he had subconsciously begun to tighten his grip on his wand so much that his knuckles were white. That little redhead had gotten to him. Gotten inside of him so that all he thought of was her.

He dreamt of her once. Every time his heart pounded he saw a picture of her, and the more it pounded, the redder her hair got until she was surrounded by flames. And then she would smile, her eyes glistening in the heat, her cheeks a rosy pink.

That night he woke up drenched in sweat.

--

The next day he couldn't fight the urge of talking to her. He couldn't. It was like a magnet. Every time he saw her in the halls, his body inched forward; he thanked the many bodies in between them that would hinder his approach.

He desperately needed fresh air.

And so during lunch he walked out of the Great Hall and onto the grounds. There, he sat down by the edge of the lake and just looked at the water. He liked just staring at it because it was something that would never change. It would always be water. It wasn't complicated or hard to read. It was there, point blank. No surprises, nothing. Plus, water didn't feel anything. It couldn't possibly be angry with him.

He saw something out of the corner of his eye.

It was Ginny.

He looked behind him, expecting Potter to be running after her, but he wasn't. This could not be good. Potter gave him an excuse not to talk to her, not to initiate his plan. But now, there was nothing stopping him. And as Ginny dipped her toes into the familiar water, closing her eyes, Draco found himself walking.

He didn't realize how fast he had walked until he was right next to her, the highlights of her blazing hair more illuminating than ever.

Brilliant. Now he was looking down at her and he hadn't said a word. Thank Merlin she hadn't opened her eyes- oh, but then they started to flutter open.

She literally jumped. Draco rolled his eyes.

"I didn't know you were there," she said quietly.

"Yes, well. I was." Merlin, this was going to take some practice.

Ginny nodded and Draco looked at her awkwardly.

"So, how are you?" She was only trying to be polite. Why would she want to talk to him anyways?

"Fine."

Ginny sighed loudly, "I really don't understand why you are here if you're not even going to try to make an effort to have a decent conversation."

She stood up and although the top of her head barely reached Draco's nose, she was glaring at him.

"I don't know what you're talking about," said Draco quite indignantly.

Ginny crossed her arms impatiently, "You can't expect to be treated like royalty anymore Draco. You have to earn the friends you make."

"Who said I want you to be my friend?" he said, too quickly to stop himself.

Ginny didn't look the last bit abashed, rather, she looked quite amused, "Oh? Is that so? Well, then explain why you were looking at me. Was there something on my face?"

Draco shifted uncomfortably, "Alright, then. So what if I was trying to talk to you? What does it matter?"

Ginny raised an eyebrow, "I don't understand why you would talk to me all of a sudden. It's very strange. You've kept quiet ever since the end of the war. I don't know what to make of it."

Well, she was honest. "I feel the need to socialize," he said, but then he replayed the words in his mind and realized how stupid they sounded, "I mean, someone like me should give people the opportunity to be my friends. If not- if not I'd be quite selfish. Keeping me all to myself." Yes, that sounded better.

"You might have had more right to say that two years ago. Not anymore, Draco. Now it's up to others to give _you _the opportunity to be _their _friend."

"Are you making reference to yourself?" he asked, quite heatedly.

"Yes! And to all the rest of the students here, Draco!" she yelled. Now, he realized, she was truly irritated. "I don't know who you think you are, Draco, but you're not as great as you think! Maybe you haven't realized, but everyone here doesn't like you! So stop acting like you're the king of the bloody world, because you're not! Right now you're the scum underneath his feet!"

Draco felt, for the first time, as if he had been slapped in the face…repeatedly. Ginny stood there panting, and it was obvious that the rampage she had just had was from the bottled up anger she held for all the Malfoys and all of the times they had mistreated her family.

"You're right," he admitted. For even he couldn't lie against the stares he was given daily, or the people that purposely stuck out there legs in front of him as he walked to his next class, or the fact that the people in his dorm had stolen his belongings and hidden them. Draco Malfoy was openly hated.

Ginny seemed to have lost her steam, because now she was looking at him with almost pity.

"You needed to hear it," she said stubbornly.

"That I did," he said, his pride taking quite a beating.

"I'm surprised you're admitting it."

"Does it matter?"

He felt her put a hand on his shoulder, but she took it away quickly. The skin underneath that spot tingled.

"It does matter," she said, "Because it makes more of a difference if you realize it too. Who cares what people think, right? It matters more what you think of yourself."

Draco smiled, in spite of himself, "How very profound."

Ginny returned the smile, "I can be when I want to."

"So," said Draco, hesitating, "Will-

"Will I give you a chance?" she asked.

"Not exactly the wording I was going to use," he said, "but more or less, yes."

Ginny laid back on the grass, her fingers playing with the blades, "Do I have a choice?"

Draco stayed sitting, "Not with me, you don't."

And so it was done. Draco let out a breath of relief.

He may have found himself a friend.

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A/N: Review! As always, some of you won't…but come on, it's the least you can do. :)


	3. Music

A/N: I like how this chapter finishes so I'm not going to spoil it by telling you to review at the end, so…REVIEW! If you don't, I'll bet you'll feel very guilty about it later. :)

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It was the second day of their "friendship" and this routine was already very awkward for Draco, seeing as though he had never really tried hard to make a friendship legitimate. Crabbe and Goyle never minded if he was nasty; they just wanted a brain. This, in fact, was Draco's first two-way friendship.

He had to admit, this was the one thing that Ginny was better at.

"Hello, Draco," she said, coming down from what he supposed to be the Gryffindor common room.

"Hello," he said, the stiffness more obvious than he wanted it to be.

Apparently Ginny noticed it, too.

"You know, you must relax eventually."

"I'm relaxed," he said, but as the words came out they seemed to have made themselves even tenser just to bother him.

"I don't bite," she said, grinning so that her teeth sparkled and if you went in just the right angle you might imagine they looked like fangs.

Draco let out a forced laugh, and Ginny rolled her eyes- something she did very often with him around.

"You're very weird," she said, continuing to walk down the stairs.

"Where's Potter?" The question came out before he registered what he was asking and, more importantly, why.

Ginny seemed to be taken surprisingly aback, too. But she recomposed herself and answered, "I think he's downstairs already with Ron and Hermione. Why?"

"I just was wondering if he knew…about us." And just as he said it he realized what it could mean if someone heard it one way, but then how he said it was _not_ that way. Of course not.

Ginny smiled, "Of course I haven't told him. He'd go ballistic! He'd very quickly have you killed. In a painful way."

Ginny always had a way with words.

"How wonderful," said Draco, for a moment considering what Potter might actually do.

"Not really," she said, "But I'd keep him in check. I have some strong magic up my sleeve."

"I bet you do," he said- and he wasn't lying. That was another thing that intrigued him about Ginny Weasley. She was strong. But not the strong that you could see; it was inside, like an energy. It, for some still unknown reason, reached out to him. That wild energy was like a drug. He needed it.

It was strange.

Ginny shrugged and then Draco thought of a question that had always been in the back of his mind since the previous day, but had never asked.

"Why are you risking being my friend?" he asked seriously.

Ginny stopped walking and turned around to face him.

"Why would it be a risk?" she said, just as seriously.

"Because of what people think of me. They think I'm a killer and that I'm worthless. Who knows what Potter would be like if he finds out. So, why? Why do it? Why, out of all the people, me?"

Ginny looked at him, "That's exactly why. Because it's you. I know you're not what people say you are. You can deny it- but you're just being subconsciously modest. Trust me, Draco. You're a good person, I can feel it. So why not be friends with a good person? Good people deserve chances, and I'm giving you one."

"I'm not a good person," he mumbled gravely, lowering his head.

Ginny put her hands on his shoulders, "Draco, listen. You did nothing wrong. You had no choice but to do what you were told to do. You had Voldemort in your _house_. What could you possibly have done to stop-

"Can we not?!" he snapped, his head flicking back up and meeting with Ginny's eyes.

Her hands dropped to her sides. "I'm just trying to help you."

"Yeah, well. That's not the way to go. Try to find another strategy; one that works would be better. Alright?"

He knew he had been too harsh on her, but the memories of that man in his house were too strong and too horrible to talk about with her. It was too soon.

Ginny shook her head and said, "I'm telling you what's what Draco. You just have to listen."

--

The day passed normally, and Draco found himself thinking of when he would see Ginny next. He liked the idea of having someone not despising him. It was during lunch when he next saw her. Ginny sat next to Potter who then put his arms around her waist and kissed her wetly on the cheek. Draco grimaced inwardly. How could she stand that?

Dinner went by slowly, but people started evaporating from the Great Hall and Draco decided it was time to go to the lake. As he got up, he met Ginny's eyes, and she made sure to follow after kissing Harry lovingly on the forehead.

"I've made a plan," said Ginny after she caught up with Draco.

Draco looked bemused, "A plan? I'm slightly worried."

"Look, I know this friendship is awkward for you, so I know a way to make it less, well, awkward."

"I'm listening."

Ginny grinned, "Finally."

They got to the edge of the lake and sat down.

"So, what's the plan?" he asked, honestly interested.

"I thought, we should teach each other something."

Draco raised an eyebrow, "Teach each other?"

Ginny nodded her head, "Yes. Anything, really. Just something that we do or know about."

"Don't you think that it's a bit personal?"

Ginny shrugged, "Why would it be? We're friends, aren't we?"

Draco didn't know how to answer. They'd only been "friends" for a day and a half.

Ginny sighed, "Oh, never mind then."

Draco sighed, too, but not because he was relieved of not having to answer, but because in fact he _did _have a talent. Only he wasn't sure he wanted everyone to know about it. They didn't need more reason to make fun of him. And although this talent didn't have much to make fun about, the Slytherins would find a way.

The truth was, Draco Malfoy played the piano.

It had all started one day in second year, when Draco got lost. He was on his way to A History of Magic when the stairs moved. This had frightened him, obviously, but being the arrogant little boy he was he decided he could take care of himself- rather than try to find a teacher or ask a nearby portrait. No. Draco took it upon himself to find his way back, and actually managed to get himself even more lost. He didn't know how long it was until he came to a long skinny hallway that, at the end, had a tall skinny white door. Thinking this was the way back, Draco sprinted down, but when he opened the door he didn't find the stairs, the classroom, or anywhere recognizable. He found himself in a brightly lit, medieval-like room with nothing but a beautiful black piano sitting in the center. Draco approached it warily, but when he got to it, his hand stroked the keys, and they were soft as polished marble.

He sat on the stool and saw the music on the piano. It wasn't too simple, but it wasn't too hard either. His mother had forced him to take piano lessons, but he had quit. Not because he didn't like piano (he truthfully loved it), but because he was forced to do it. It was a rebellion, mostly. And so Draco learned the music slowly, and every time he would learn the song, more music would magically appear on the piano, just waiting to be played. And Draco would do it the honor.

He still went there almost every day, especially now. He could escape and he could be whoever he wanted to be in there. That's what he loved about music- it could take you places. Far away places.

He laid down on the grass next to Ginny and turned to look at her; she had closed her eyes, her hair fanned across the grass. Her gentle hand was inches away from his own, but he didn't dare touch it. It was then he realized she must have fallen asleep. He propped his head up with his elbow and watched Ginny sleep peacefully.

It was then he realized that being with Ginny Weasley was like listening to music.


	4. Realization

A/N: Although this chapter is the shortest, it may just be the most important. Read, and **for my sake, review.**

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When Ginny woke up all she saw was the black sky glittering with millions of stars. They looked so pretty. She fidgeted in her position and felt a body next to her. Was it Harry? She turned around and saw Draco Malfoy sitting up next to her, throwing rocks into the lake. He turned around though, sensing that she had awoken. For a moment, she thought that this was better…but then she shook it out of her mind.

"Hello," he said; Ginny robbed her eyes and gave a small yawn. Draco couldn't help thinking that she looked…adorable.

"How long have I been sleeping?"

"All through the afternoon," he said mischievously, "I suspect it's dinner now."

Ginny groaned, but smiled and said, "Thank goodness today I didn't have any afternoon classes." But then she got up and looked at Draco, "Did you?"

Draco smirked, "Double potions. I was never fond of that class, especially now with that brute Slughorn teaching it."

Ginny laughed, "Yes, I don't think he ever liked me as a person very much."

"That makes him even more of an idiot."

"Very true."

"What would you like to do? It's late," he said, although he really just wanted to stay where they were.

Ginny looked up at him with semi-sleepy eyes, "Can we just stay here for a bit? I bet the common room is horribly loud."

Draco nodded, extremely pleased. So there is where they stayed until late at night when they deemed it would be quiet enough; although neither of them said it, they both wanted to continue sitting there and just talking. They wanted to continue being with each other.

--

The next day, Draco walked down the hallway having come out of his secret room. He felt more relaxed now, content. Something about the piano made him lighten up; especially since now he was in the middle of writing a song.

His day had been alright; nobody had tried to anger him or make fun of him, he had even managed to steer clear of Potter- this always managed to get him a good day.

Draco was getting used to having Ginny around, too. Actually, he really liked it, although he never told anyone. Every day they'd meet up for their walk to breakfast, although they never ate together. Then, they'd split up to their classes, and meet back at the lake for lunch. At dinner, sometimes they would eat separately, and other times, they would go to the library, where nobody ever was at that time.

They liked spending time together; it might sound odd, but they both found comfort in each other. Draco had finally found a friend, while Ginny had finally found someone she could be confident with. For once, he could not judge, and Ginny felt truly free of any restrictions or masks she had to put on while with other people; even Harry. Though she never thought of this for long enough to make anything out of it.

It was lunch time and Draco went to the lake to meet up with Ginny.

Except, she never came.

Betrayal was what he felt first, but then that was overcome by worry. She was never late. She was always here. Where could she be?

And just like that, he was lonely again.

No, he thought; he wasn't going to just sit here and feel sorry for himself. Something might be happening to…he struggled not to think of her as _his _Ginny; because she wasn't his, she was Potter's.

Potter.

That was where she must be. Maybe that git did something to her! He was going to find out.

Draco walked alone through the hallways and up stairs for hours when he finally realized he wasn't going to find her. Sighing, he put his hands in his pocket and decided to go to the library.

It must be dinner time, he thought, so maybe Ginny had gone to the library to meet him, even if she skipped the lake. Maybe.

He got to the library and it was quiet. As usual.

He walked passed rows and rows of books and got to the very back table where he and Ginny would sit- except, this time, no Ginny. Not usual.

He sat down and put his face in his hands. Why was she doing this to him? Why was she making him suffer? Why did he feel this insufferable pain inside of him?

Shaking, he slammed his fists on the table, the noise rippling through the library. Why did he always end up alone?! Why wasn't he able to find one true friend?! Why did his life always have to suck so bad?

He thought he had found a friend in Ginny, he had trusted her with his feelings…and now, look what happened. He was left in the deepest darkest pit with no light.

Groaning, he realized Ginny was his light- and now it was dark.

He held his breath and gripped the sides of the table. He needed to relax.

After almost a minute he sucked in a sharp breath- in and out in and out. He couldn't panic like this over her; he simply couldn't. His life could _not _depend on Ginny. Yet, somehow it did. He needed to escape. Now.

He got up and started walking out, his secret room being his destination.

The rows of books blurred as he passed them, but one didn't. Turning his head ever so slightly, he saw her. Entangled in the arms of Potter.

He couldn't help releasing a loud, "Oh." When he saw his arms wrapped around her middle. Seeing her kiss him like that made him wince; he started to walk faster and faster until he broke out into a run and headed to his secret room.

There he smashed the keys until his ears were exploding with sound and booms.

This couldn't be happening.

He couldn't…He just couldn't.

Draco Malfoy _couldn't_ be in love with Ginny Weasley.


	5. Fear

The next day, Draco was afraid of getting to close to Ginny.

He didn't want to feel what he had felt. He didn't want to think what he had thought. He didn't want to have that need of being with her anymore- at least in the romantic sense. All he just wanted was her as a friend: something she was very good at, and something he was just getting started with.

But no; already he was failing at doing that simple task. Already he was making it way too complicated.

Why couldn't he do anything right? Why couldn't he just get this one solid relationship, for once?

That day, he tried to avert the regular routes he took to his next class because, apart from the Potions classroom, they would take him to Ginny. Yes, he felt guilty for suddenly abandoning her, but hadn't she done the same thing yesterday? Gone of and snuck out with Potter, that's what she'd done.

Draco breathed in- he couldn't get worked up like this over a _Weasley_. His family, although worthless now to the rest of the world, had instilled some sort of pride factor in him, hadn't they? Ginny was a friend. Nothing more.

This satisfied him. His feelings had been dealt with, they had been sorted. Now, he had nothing to worry about. He could go on about their normal routine and not care about her anymore than a friend. Perfect.

But wait…he was already late for their first daily meeting! This couldn't happen. He broke into a run, bumping into students who cursed at him as he passed. Finally, sweating and breathless, he reached the spot where they would meet- behind a statue of a centaur on the third floor.

He tried to recompose himself as he waited for her. Craning his neck, he tried to see over the bustling heads of the students, but he couldn't make out a redhead. His heart sank; had she abandoned him again? Had Potter pulled her away from his close grasp? They had been such good friends, what happened?

That's when he was bumped into and toppled over. Furious, he looked up to see who it was, and saw the face he had been missing. His heart skipped a beat, but he forced himself to believe differently.

"Oh, Draco! I'm so sorry," said Ginny, a smile on her face. Draco stared at her, still speechless. "Er, Draco? You alright?"

It then dawned on him that he hadn't asked her about the other day, and before he could doubt about whether or not to actually do that, he did.

"What happened the other day? Why weren't you there?" Although he knew perfectly well why.

Ginny turned furiously red, so it looked like she was on fire. Draco thought it made her look gorgeous. He grimaced inwardly, knowing that the control of his emotions wasn't going as planned.

"Er- well," she said, struggling for words, "I had- er- a lot to do. Homework. An essay…twenty inches of parchment!"

Draco, although hurt because she lied, couldn't help but smile at her awkwardness. He forced himself to stop. What was he doing? He was acting like some sort of love-sick freak! He had to control himself.

"Are you okay?" she asked, since Draco had clenched his fists in concentration.

He forcibly relaxed, "Yes, I'm perfectly fine."

Ginny smiled and something pulled at Draco's insides, "Good- so, are we going to the tree or what?"

"We're definitely going to the tree." It was safe to say that Draco was more than glad to be back to their regular routine.

"So," said Ginny as they walked to the grounds, "How have you been?"

Draco rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably, "Er, good.

He had no idea what else to say. How could he tell her he thought about her all day? How could he tell her the pain he felt when she wasn't with him? How could he tell her what he _really _felt?

Why couldn't he tell her?

It was wrong, first of all. A Malfoy and a Weasley? No, impossible. It couldn't happen. Everyone would look at him, glare at him even, because he- the bad guy- would date her- the good hero. Plus, what if she rejected him?

That was the one thing he was afraid of. Rejection. And it had already happened to him too many times.

Also, Potter would definitely take a swing at him. If that ever happened, defending himself wouldn't be an option. One finger on that bloody Boy Who Lived and he'd be even more shunned and excluded. And who knows what Ginny would think?

"Good," she said, snapping him out of his stupor, "That's good."

Draco nodded, unaware of what to talk about. Fortunately for him though, they reached their tree by the lake. Nobody was on the grounds since it was lunchtime, and this made it even easier for them to be together.

Draco erased those words from his mind. They _weren't _at _all _together. No. They were friends. Not…together. But literally they were walking together. Not necessarily together together, but together none the less. Right? Yes. Together has a lot of definitions. But the way he had thought of it was the one he didn't want to mean.

Ginny sighed happily as she took of her shoes and dipped her feet into the water. Draco looked at her and suddenly was envious. Of her happiness. Of her perfect relaxation and almost no worries. She didn't have to worry about how people talked about her behind her back, or what people said to her face. She was free to be whoever she wanted to be. He, on the other hand, needed to please the whole student body.

But then there was another reason he was envious, he thought as she tilted her head back and the sunlight played in her hair.

He was envious of Potter.

Why did he get to have the one thing he wanted? And needed. He got to hold her when he felt like it, and cradle her when she cried, and share the happiness she felt…and he also got to take her away from everyone else and have her to himself when he wanted.

Instead, Draco had to sit there, struggling not to go over and kiss her.

"Don't you want to feel the water?" Ginny asked, her eyes closed, face looking up at the sky.

Draco didn't respond, he just took of his shoes and sat down next to her, his feet now in the nice warm water. Ginny laid herself down on the grass, turned her head, and looked up at Draco, smiling.

If only she knew how much this was secretly hurting him.

"Lay down," she said, "Relax."

"I'm fine up here."

She laughed, "You're so tense. You have to unwind and close your eyes."

Draco looked at her as she did just that. This was the only time he could really admire her beauty- when no one was looking; not even her.

It wasn't fair that he had to hide his feelings. It wasn't fair that he had to be afraid of what people would think. It really wasn't. Nobody else had to worry about things like this. Most people told you- it doesn't matter what people think, it only matters what you think about yourself.

Not for Draco.

Especially now, what people thought was everything.

Draco leaned back, loosening his shoulders as much as he dared. He was cautious about letting his guard down with Ginny around- even if it was only literally. He looked out onto the lake and his mind emptied out of any thoughts. His mind was two extremes. Either it was jammed with loud and colliding thoughts, or it was empty in a sad way, not knowing what to think.

He turned his head subconsciously and met Ginny's eyes for precious seconds. But then she turned away quickly, almost embarrassed.

Almost afraid.


	6. A Gingerly Point of View

A/N: This chapter will be in Ginny's point of view (still third person, but focusing on what _she _does and what _she's _thinking); I really think it's necessary to the story- so please review because it's important!

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Ginny walked down the hallway, hand in hand with Harry. Turning her head, she saw him looking at her, smiling, those green eyes she had always loved, twinkling. Suddenly, he pulled her next to him and kissed her, causing all of her thoughts to go away. There had never been a time where she had been happier.

It had been a wonder how she, at the time a fourth year, had been kissed by the Boy Who Lived, two years older than her. She had always wanted him more than anything in the world, and now she had him; he was hers and she, his. Nothing could ruin her euphoria, because she was with the one she truly loved.

The halls rang with the sound of bells, signaling Ginny that it was time for her to go. Reluctantly, she quickly pulled away, but Harry delved deeper into her mouth. Ginny groaned and again pulled away, the task becoming harder each time.

"I have to go," she whispered, pressing herself against him.

"Where?" he said, holding her chin and meeting their eyes.

"Study," she said lamely, her eyes trying desperately to avert his. She hated lying to him.

If Harry was suspicious, he didn't say anything about it. "I love you," he said, kissing her lightly on the lips.

Ginny closed her eyes, never wanting to leave- but she couldn't do that to Draco; he was her friend. "I love you, too," she whispered, and then turned around to walk away. The pain increased with every step she took.

Yet, when she reached the grounds and walked closer to the lake, the pain seemed to go away, or at least muffle down. Draco's face was outlined with colors of the descending sun, and Ginny couldn't help but feel the opposite of pain. As she sat down next to him, she felt happy. Ginny knew it was because he had grown to be one of her good friends, but it worried her that there was a little nudging in the back of her mind telling her that it was more than just that. But it couldn't be.

"Sorry I'm a little late," she finally said. Ginny turned to look at Draco and found that his eyes had already been on her. This made her spine shiver.

"I understand."

Ginny felt a pang of guilt, "You shouldn't. You should be angry with me. I'm always late to our meetings, and you never are."

Draco's eyes looked sympathetic, "I don't want to force you to come. Don't think it's obligatory, because it's not. If you enjoy this, then I'd like if you could come, late or not. But if you don't, well, then there's nothing I can do about it."

"Draco, I really enjoy spending time with you," she said, feeling the guilt from what he had just said. She didn't want him to think that she was doing this out of pity.

He was still looking at her, and for a second, Ginny thought that his eyes had shown a sparkle of hope. Draco managed a small smile and said, "I'm glad, because I lo- I mean, I really like spending time with you too."

Finally, he turned away, his neck reddening. Ginny was surprised. What had he almost said? Love? This made Ginny blush furiously- was he going to relate her and love? Yet, she didn't know what he had been going to say. Either I love spending time with you or…I love you. Ginny felt her heart racing. This shouldn't make her this nervous. Draco was just a friend, and saying that he loved spending time with her meant nothing but that. Right?

Ginny sighed outwardly, and saw Draco looking at her from the corner of his eyes. What was he thinking about?

"What are you thinking?" she asked, afraid of being to silent for much longer.

Draco hesitated, and finally said, "Nothing."

Ginny smiled, "Oh, come on Draco, tell me." She scooted closer to him, "Please?"

It was fun trying to read his mind. He really was a good person, she knew that, but he was too closed with people- he needed to open up.

Draco looked amused, "I wasn't thinking of anything."

"So your mind was just blank then?" she asked, "Well, I suspected as much."

Draco's eyes flickered playfully, "It's kind of hard to think of anything while you're here."

The atmosphere suddenly tensed as both realized what this could mean to the other. Ginny was absolutely frozen. Was he saying that she took up his entire mind? She shook her head, just repeating the thought made her seem arrogant. Why would she be so important to him anyways?

"Am I really that annoying?" she asked teasingly, trying to ease the tension.

Draco's face showed no emotion, "Not annoying- just…distracting."

Ginny's heart had this unreadable feeling, and it scared her. She felt the sudden impulse to just go over to him and hold him. But she couldn't. She was probably just imagining it.

Ginny breathed deeply, lay down on the grass, and closed her eyes. After a few moments pause, Draco did, too. And there they stayed until the sun went down, lying down together. Ginny couldn't take it after a while and opened her eyes, turning her head to face Draco- when she did, she saw him looking at her, his eyes pained. Ginny felt like crying; she didn't know what was going on inside of her, but she knew it was wrong.

It was so wrong.

Even while thinking this, she reached for his hand. At first he pulled it away, but then, he grabbed hers tenderly, intertwining his fingers with hers. They looked at each other, holding hands, and laying on the grass.

Ginny brought her hand up along with Draco's and snuggled closer to him, digging her face in his shoulder. She felt Draco stiffen, but she didn't go away, because the adrenaline pumping through her veins and the happiness in her heart was too much to let go of right now.

Finally, though, Draco wrapped his other arm around her and pulled her in.


	7. A Letter

A/N: Thank you, thank you, thank you, for all the great responses!!! I got a lot of reviews and that made me so happy that I wrote up the next chapter for you guys super quick! I hope you enjoy it as much as the previous, although it has a slightly different feel to it. (We're back in Draco's point of view, by the way).

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When Draco woke up the next morning all the thoughts from last night rushed in and flooded his mind. He groaned and fell back down on his bed. How could he do that? He had worked so hard in keeping his feelings to himself and now he had ruined it all. How could they possibly continue to be friends after that? How could he look at her after what had happened?

What _had _happened, anyways?

Well, they had been lying on the grass quietly, as usual. It was their way of spending time together and enjoying it. They both needed some time with someone that understood the need for being alone mentally, but not physically. And then what? Right; Ginny had gone for his hand. He remembered when her fingers first touched his, the surge of electricity that he had felt scared him, so he pulled away- but Ginny didn't give in. She reached for him one more time, and he had no idea why. All he knew was that he had held her hand and he had been happy but so confused. And then? She had pressed herself against him, the best feeling in the world. But he couldn't hold her like he wanted to. He couldn't bring himself to do that. It was too much for him to handle. He could either have her as a friend, or more- but not something strange in between. Yet, he hadn't been able to control himself and he had draped his arm around her and snuggled her closer.

_Why? _

Why had he gone and ruined the good relationship they had going? The only thing he could think of now was what Ginny would be like when they met today. Finally, with that in mind, he got up off his bed and put on a shirt. He went to the bathroom and looked at himself in the mirror. He felt horrible. How could he hold a girl like _that _when she already had a boyfriend? How could he show his feelings and be so _vulnerable_? How could he lead Ginny on? Yes, he wanted her to know, and he wanted her to feel the same thing, but he wasn't immoral either. He had certain values. Plus the fact that Potter had threatened to kill him if he ever saw him with his girlfriend wasn't too good either.

Draco shook his hair and put on his Hogwarts robes, heading down to the Great Hall for breakfast. When he got there people were already swarming around and buzzing in their seats. Sighing, he took his regular place at the edge of the Slytherin table and served himself some toast and eggs.

Almost instinctively, he looked up at the Gryffindor table. His heart nearly stopped when he saw that Ginny was looking at him.

"Draco," she mouthed silently, and then turned around when Harry put his arm around her protectively. Almost as if he knew.

He stabbed at his eggs angrily. That's what bothered him the most. After yesterday he had this feeling that Ginny felt the same way about him. How could she not after willingly taking his hand and digging her face into his shoulder? He felt goosebumps at the memory. But still, they couldn't be together. All because of Potter. He was the _only _thing standing in their way. They wouldn't have to hide their feelings from everyone, if only he'd back off.

But he couldn't force him to. Ginny would hate him. It was obvious she still loved the git; why, he didn't know. But he couldn't deny it. She still looked at him lovingly when he kissed her and she still held his hand when they walked down the hallways. What girl wouldn't love the Boy Who Lived?

Draco's hands were clenched into fists and for once he wished he could've been Harry Potter.

--

At dinnertime, Draco made his way to the library, hoping that Ginny would come too. He sat down in an empty chair in the back of the library and instantly felt tired. Tired of hiding, tired of lying, tired of the insults, tired of the biased people, tired of trying to be someone he wasn't.

He put his face in his hands, his temples were throbbing and his head hurt. This whole day had been consumed with thoughts of Ginny. He couldn't get her out of his mind, no matter how hard he tried. And now, he thought, if she came, what would he say to her?

Right on cue, he heard footsteps coming his way.

"Draco, are you alright?"

He looked up and his spirits were lifted by the mere presence of her. "Yes, I'm better."

Ginny smiled, "Good," and sat down. Draco was surprised, to say the least. She seemed completely unfazed. Had the feelings she'd shown, or the ones he thought she had shown, been false or exaggerated?

"How are you?" Draco asked warily, his voice raspy and low.

Ginny looked concerned, "I'm doing well, but you honestly don't look so good."

Ginny put a hand to his forehead, but Draco moved back quickly. Ginny's eyes looked sad, but only for a moment. Then, she looked normal again, or at least he thought.

"I'm just tired," he said, avoiding her eyes even though it hurt to do so.

"Are you sure? You don't seem to be yourself."

Draco shrugged, his heart paining him. "I'm fine."

"Well then why aren't you talking to me?" she asked, almost desperately.

"I don't know, Ginny. Maybe I just don't want to," he said more harshly than he intended.

Ginny got up looking dejected; "Fine."

Draco looked after her as she left, the pain in his heart unbearable. But she hadn't cared. She had come here like nothing, and it was better that way. He didn't deserve her- she should stay with Potter, even though it killed him to see them kissing every day. But he had to let her go. She had already gotten too close and he couldn't let that happen anymore.

Plus, he thought again, she didn't seem to care. She hadn't thought twice about last night.

But Draco never saw the silent tears pouring from her eyes as she walked out of the library.

--

The next morning Draco woke up feeling terribly sick. His head was throbbing, his eyes were watery, and he was paler than ever- if that was even possible. Lethargically, he put on his robes and headed downstairs, where everything was spinning slightly.

He sat dizzily down on the table, not even bothering to search for Ginny. Those hazel eyes would just make him feel worse. He reached for a muffin when an old school owl landed next to him and poked him in the arm. This hurt more than it normally did so Draco shoved him off, earning rude stares from everyone else in the table. Ripping the letter of its leg as it flew off, Draco continued eating. Eventually, though, he had to open it.

It was from his mother:

_Dear Draco,_

_I think you'll be happy to hear that I've convinced Mr. and Mrs. Greengrass to let their wonderful daughter Astoria transfer to Hogwarts for her last year. Do you remember her? We met the family last summer for tea. I think she's a sweet girl- a very good candidate. Think about it, darling. _

_Love, __Your Mother_

Draco's heart sunk and he felt even worse.

Oh, he remembered her alright.


	8. Astoria Greengrass

A/N: So sorry for the delay of updates! Midterms= no time for writing. But now they're over and I whipped up this nice chapter for you guys! Thanks so much for the dedicated reviews and I hope I get more with this chapter ;) Merry Christmas! (although it's a tad bit early :P) Thank you SugaryTears and Anna Scathath for that reminder that the name is GreenGRASS not GreenMAN. Also, this new chappie is dedicated to unarosaesunarosa- the most dedicated reader ever! Her reviews never get old! Thanks and enjoy!

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Draco did not want to get up the next morning because he knew what was coming during breakfast. He knew the green-eyed, spoiled, stubborn, brunette that was coming. Consequently, this might have been why he still felt sick. Why did his mother have to be so interfering? Couldn't she just leave him alone? No, she couldn't- her overprotective motherly instincts must have been telling her this was the way to go. They must have said this is the only thing she could do to protect and save her little Draco. He winced.

Rubbing his eyes, he made his way towards the bathroom where he splashed his face with water, the only hope he had of maintaining awake. After putting on his robes, he grudgingly made his way downstairs. He did not want to go see that girl. But he had no choice. She was probably already here.

Opening the doors of the Great Hall, he turned his head subconsciously to the right and met Ginny's eyes. His head turned quickly and his stomach flipped. Was there any hope of getting rid of this forbidden feeling? He turned back around and found Ginny still looking at him hopefully. He instantly felt horrible. She had been his friend all this time and now he was going to let her go because he was a coward. She had done nothing wrong. _He _had been the one to show his feelings to willingly. _He _had torn their friendship apart. And now he was focused on rebuilding it. He gave her a small smile, and she managed one back, but then turned quickly back to Potter who kissed her on the cheek.

Well, Draco thought as he went to sit down, at least they were on better terms. He hoped. Right when he sat down on the Slytherin table, Dumbledore made his way toward the podium.

"Welcome, students," he said, "I hope you don't mind that we make a little unexpected twist today."

Immediately the Great Hall flooded with excited whispers and murmurs, rumors probably already spreading.

"Now, now," he continued, "Let's not get to rowdy. It's my pleasure to announce that we have a new student for the rest of the year. Her name is Astoria Greengrass and I expect that we'll all make her transfer as smooth as possible."

Draco rolled his eyes, but nobody noticed; they were all to intent on spotting this new girl.

"So, without further delay," he said, "Here is Miss Astoria Greengrass."

Dumbledore clapped and the students followed, craning their necks to see her face. Astoria made her way out of one of the back rooms and Draco thought she looked just like she had last summer.

Astoria was the girl who was beautiful in the obvious way. There was nothing exotic or special about her face. Draco wouldn't deny that she was pretty, but he just simply wasn't attracted to her. Maybe it was because he actually knew her. Unfortunately, though, the rest of the guys in this school didn't—and that's why they were all drooling as she sat down in the stool ready to get sorted. Draco groaned, knowing that ever guy would be crossing their fingers hoping that she'd get sorted into their house. But Draco already knew where she would get sorted- her personality basically screamed it, just as the Sorting Hat did only a second after it touched her head…

"SLYTHERIN!"

The table erupted with roars and cheers, mostly from the guys. The girls clapped politely, but Draco suspected, seeing as though they were Slytherin girls, that they were all extremely jealous of her already. He also suspected that they were already fighting to be her best friend.

Astoria grinned, legitimately ecstatic, and made her way toward the table. But she didn't sit next to any of the good-looking talked-to guys, or the beautiful and popular girls. No. Astoria sat next to Draco at the far end of the table. This earned him curious glances from the girls and furious stares from the boys.

"Draco, I haven't seen you in a year," she said as the breakfast food appeared on the table. "How have you been? Tell me all about your life," she demanded with fake interest.

Draco shrugged, "It's been alright, I s'pose." He looked straight ahead and saw Ginny staring at him, an eyebrow raised. He rolled his eyes and Ginny sucked in her lips, trying not to smile.

"I highly doubt that it was alright, Draco. I'm sure there's been plenty of exciting things happening here," Astoria continued, putting a hand on his arm flirtatiously.

"No, actually. At least not that I've been involved with. I bet Blaise has better things to tell you about," he said, trying to steer the conversation away from him.

Astoria laughed, the annoyance in her voice audible, "Draco, I want to hear about _you_."

"You really don't."

"Oh, come on. Stop teasing me; I know you'd love to tell me about your days here. You know _everything _about Hogwarts," she said, smiling and leaning into Draco, "That's why I asked to be in all of your classes."

Draco froze. "Oh? Did you now?"

Astoria hesitated, only for a moment though; she laughed as if to break the tension, "Yes, Draco isn't that brilliant? Dumbledore was very cooperative about it, too. Although he's a bit crazy, if you ask me."

"He's not crazy," said Draco, reminded of all Dumbledore had done to keep him in school.

Astoria shrugged, starting to eat her breakfast, probably thinking that _Draco _was the crazy one if he wasn't attracted to her yet. He rolled his eyes, something he thought he might be doing a lot with Astoria around.

Breakfast ended and Draco saw Ginny eyeing him purposely to get them alone together. Draco had to run to escape Astoria, but he managed to get into an empty room; Ginny entered soon after.

"I'm guessing you know Astoria?" she asked amusedly.

Draco sighed, "Unfortunately, yes. Her parents are friends with my parents, and, well, they expect us to be friends, too." Draco decided to leave the part of their parents wanting them to marry out of this conversation.

Ginny smiled, "That's not good."

"No, it's not. And neither is the way I treated you in the library yesterday," he added.

Ginny's smile faltered, "Well, you were sick. You weren't all there."

Draco shook his head, "It doesn't matter. That's not an excuse to treat you the way I did. You're risking being my friend and I just take you for granted. That's never going to happen again. I promise."

Ginny gave him a small smile, "I have to go to class now, Draco. But notice that I'm still here. I'll always be here."

Draco hugged her and Ginny relaxed in his arms, hugging him back. This is where he wanted to stay. Forever. But he knew he couldn't. He let her go, and smiled down at her, memorizing all the details in her face.

"Aren't you late for class?"

Ginny grinned, "I'm going, I'm going."

They both made their way out of the empty classroom at different times, as to not seem suspicious, but apparently for Draco, avoiding Astoria was impossible. It was almost as if she'd been waiting for him.

"Draco!" she said and ran over to him, linking her arms with his, "Are you ready?"

Draco flinched inwardly. For class? Yes.

For _her_?

…

Not really.


	9. Jealousy

A/N: Oh goodness, I'm not very good with time frames, am I? Well I hope the wait was worth it and that you all love the chapter! I tried to make it extra long with plenty of juicyness :) Enjoy and _review_! (Thank you to all of those who already have been)

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Draco had to give himself some credit. After all, he had survived his first day with Astoria. It had been difficult, tedious, and down-right annoying; but he had survived. Thank Merlin. But that was just the first of many. The thought circled in his head, poking his nerves, making him want to go to sleep and never wake up again. That way he could just dream. More specifically, about Ginny. It didn't matter to him that she didn't feel the same way about him. Yes, it was extremely painful, watching her kiss that undeserving Potter (What was he talking about anyways? He didn't deserve her anymore than Potter did; probably even less). But at least he was satisfied that she was happy, really happy.

Although right now, he was not. Apart from the fact that his only possible true love was far from his pale hands, the girl he despised the most was much too close.

What did she really see in him anyways?

"Draco!"

Fantastic, he thought as Astoria's voice came echoing through the common room. What could she possibly want now? Draco turned around and saw all the rest of the boys eyeing him suspiciously. Even better.

"What is it, Astoria?" Draco asked dully.

"I want to go for a walk," she said perkily, smiling up at Draco's obviously bored and uninterested face.

"It's nearly midnight, aren't you the least bit tired?" he asked hopefully.

"Not when I have the opportunity to be with you."

Had she rehearsed this, or what?

"Er- well, you should get some rest anyways," said Draco awkwardly.

"But I want to _go_," she whined, pulling on his arm playfully.

Draco looked around the room for last minute help from any of the guys, but they all were ignoring him. What was their problem?

"Fine; we'll go on your stupid walk."

Astoria grinned with childish delight and, naturally, linked her arm around Draco's, leaning her head against his shoulder. Draco grimaced inwardly as he walked her out to the grounds. As they walked silently, the moon seemed to radiate on their faces, shining an almost eerie glow on the campus. Draco looked around, trying to find some sort of person. But of course, nobody was outside except them. Nobody _sane _would go out at this time; and they, both, of course, did not fall under that category right now.

"So, what do you want to do?" asked Astoria, smiling.

"You wanted to walk. I'm walking. I don't know what else there _is _to do."

"Let's play a game," she declared, standing herself in front of Draco.

Draco groaned, not even bothering to hide his annoyance- maybe that would make her go away. "What game, exactly?"

"It's called Truth," she continued animatedly, "Me and my girls would play it all the time in my old school- I don't know if they play it here, I haven't gotten a chance to talk to them; I've been so caught up with _you_. You're so _interesting_. Anyways, it's as simple as the title, really. I ask you a question, and you have to tell me the truth. Get it? Truth." She ended with a wide and excited grin on that pretty little face of hers. Draco sighed deeply; well, it could be worse.

"Sure, why not?" he said glumly; why not humor her? He had nothing else to do.

"Alright, let's go over here," she said happily, pulling him by the sleeve. To his utter horror, though, she was leading him to the tree by the lake. That was his and _Ginny's _spot. Not hers.

He stopped abruptly.

"What is it?" asked Astoria.

"Er- there's an ant pile over there," he said lamely, "They'll eat us…alive. Yeah. They're not…good…ants, and er, they're poisonous. So, if we sit there…we'll er- die. Yes, we'll die."

"Oh. Well. I don't want to die," said Astoria, "Let's go sit on that bench."

So Astoria led him to an empty stone bench that somewhat overlooked the lake, but also had an incredible view of the valley behind Hogwarts. If Draco was here with someone else (Ginny) then he would have thought it immensely beautiful. But he wasn't here with someone else- he was here with Astoria Greengrass, the very last person he wanted to be sitting alone in a bench with. Playing the game of Truth.

"What do we do now?" he asked, hoping she'd say she was tired and wanted to go back.

"Well, now we play. I'll start off by asking you a question- I'll go easy on you, though, since we're just starting. Okay, ready? What's your favorite color?"

"Are you serious? My favorite _color_?"

"Just answer it," she said, slapping him playfully on the shoulder.

"Brown."

"Brown? Really? _Why?_" she asked, almost disgusted.

"Hazel, really. That's my absolute favorite color in the whole world."

"Well that's odd."

Draco shrugged, very amused. "I guess. Do I ask now?"

"Yes, go ahead."

"Easy question, right? Er- what's your favorite animal?"

Astoria grunted impatiently, "Ugh, this is _so _boring. Ask me more juicy ones, that makes it interesting."

Draco suddenly felt extremely uncomfortable. "I don't know what to ask."

Astoria laughed a little, "Fine, I'll ask again, is that okay?"

"That's fine."

"Alright, let me think…Oh, I got one. Have you ever snogged a girl that wasn't your girlfriend?"

Draco remembered when girls would actually come up to _him _and do that. Well, it was Truth, wasn't it? What was the worst that could happen?

"I have, actually."

Astoria giggled, "Ooh, okay, ask me one."

Draco struggled to find one that she thought would be "juicy," and he had to think of something- or else she'd keep asking him questions, and he hated being on the spot. "Have you ever had a boyfriend for more than a week?"

Draco had to hand it to himself; that was pretty funny since he honestly doubted she ever had.

"Never," she said matter-of-factly, "Except I would if I ever found the perfect guy that I would feel _totally_ passionate about." She batted her eyelashes, and Draco felt very, _very _uncomfortable.

"Okay then."

"I have the perfect question for you, Draco. Have you ever been in _love_?" she asked, her tone bordering on flirtatious.

Draco literally froze. Ginny's face flashed into his mind millions of times; different angles, when she laughed, when she ate, when she thought, when she just looked at him- all at once as if on a super fast slideshow.

"I don't know," he managed to croak out.

Astoria leaned closer, "Well, maybe one day, you will."

"Alright; well I think it's time to go."

---

The next morning Draco woke up and got dressed especially early, taking all precaution in order to avoid Astoria. As he snuck out of the dormitory, though, he heard the voice of a girl.

"Hello, Draco."

His heart sunk as he turned around, but his dread turned more to confusion when he saw who it actually was: Pansy Parkinson, his ex-girlfriend who hadn't talked to him since the end of the war- much like everyone else. He remembered what she had said to him, and confusion turned to suspicion.

"What do you want, Pansy?"

She stepped closer, a small smile playing on her lips. "I just wanted to know how you are. I haven't talked to you in ages."

Draco's eyes narrowed, "Yes, because the last time you talked to me was when you told me you hated me."

Pansy's smile faltered. "Oh don't be silly, you know I didn't mean that."

"It sure sounded like you did. Goodbye, Pansy."

And so Draco walked over to the Great Hall, wondering why the bloody hell Pansy Parkinson would want to ever talk to him again. Had they all had a change of heart, or something? He denied it immediately, although his own heart couldn't help have a tad bit of small, precious hope.

When he got to the Great Hall, some Slytherin boys were already sitting down at the table. He hadn't imagined any of them waking up this early. What was even _more _surprising was that his old best-friend Blaise was signaling him to come sit down next to the group. Draco had to stop and just take it all in for a second. What was going on here? What had happened in the course of the eight hours he was asleep that would've made the whole Slytherin House change their minds about him? Draco, with this in mind, made his way cautiously over to them.

"Hey, Draco, are you going to sit down, or what?" Blaise said with a playful grin.

"Why'd you suddenly change your mind? For the whole first part of the year you never even spoke one word to me. What's the deal?" asked Draco, more comfortable with asking Blaise the truth than anyone else.

Blaise tried to look confused, but it came out fake and awkward instead. "What are you talking about, Draco? Okay, maybe I do kind of know what you're saying, mate, but its all in the past now, right?"

"I don't know if I can put all that behind me so fast."

"Come on, what's wrong? I'm you're friend, right?"

"I'm not sure yet, Blaise," said Draco, and then he left the Great Hall, deciding to skip breakfast today. Everything was just too weird.

---

As the morning dragged on, Draco decided to stay by his tree, hoping that Ginny would eventually sense something and come too. He was right, because she did.

"Draco, where have you been all morning?" she asked as she sat down next to him.

Draco looked straight ahead. "Something's different."

"What do you mean?"

He looked at her and Ginny saw confusion in his eyes, "Today my old friends have started treating me like a person again. They talked to me, asked me to sit down again, and claimed that it had all been a misunderstanding. I don't know what to think."

Ginny stared back at him and then shyly and carefully took his hand. "Do you believe them?"

Draco's eyes had locked on his hand, now intertwined with Ginny's. "I want to."

Ginny gave him a small smile. "Just do what you think is best."

"I don't know what I think is best, though."

Ginny sighed and took both of his hands in hers; Draco's gray eyes met her hazel eyes and he couldn't help but feel the leap his stomach gave. "Draco, let me tell you the one thing I'm certain of: you deserve more than this. You deserve better than how they have treated you for the past year. Really, you're one of the most honest, sincere, and caring people I know. And you deserve for people to be just as honest, just as sincere, and just as caring to you."

Draco's heart warmed and he couldn't help but feel happy, right here and now. It didn't matter to him if he had other friends, or if Pansy ever loved him again. He knew that now. All that mattered was that Ginny would be with him forever.

He just didn't know if that's what _she _wanted.


End file.
